whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
