My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
