But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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