Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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