i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
