Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
