IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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