Ambien. No doubt about it.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
