We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize