dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
