you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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