i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
