so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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