Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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