i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
