I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
