'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
