so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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