ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
