Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
