Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
