? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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