Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
