why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
