my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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