there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
