it was like his penis was on wheels.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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