I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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