i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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