A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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