i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize