five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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