just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
No more Irish car bombs ever.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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