I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize
