no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
What a fucking waste of an outfit
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
