Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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