Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
