Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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