we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
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maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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