i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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