I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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