We need to rekindle our bromance
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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