party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
