Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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