I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
