3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
