It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
