I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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