all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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