he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
