I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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