i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
cat food counts as protein by the way
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
