how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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