If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
