how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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