i would punch a child for taco bell
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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