If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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