Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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