i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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