"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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