Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
