you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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