she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
