This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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